So, I went ziplining. It was really fun! And incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. I randomly got asked to go ziplining with someone visiting. It was in the morning, I was at work, and ya! Ziplining! Why not! Another thing checked off my list. I wasn't in the best ziplining outfit and I had to run and get some tennis shoes. Why I couldn't change into something more comfortable while I was getting my shoes, I'll never know. Anyways. I'm wearing my big baggy shirt, ugly shorts, and then I'm wearing tennis shoes. This is my nightmare. Add on to that a stifling heat, sans breeze, and I'm sweating like a beast. Add on to that a perma-wedgie once they get my harness on. Add on to that a giant bruise on my inner thigh from getting tangled up with the surfboard leash, and it looks like I have a lot of cellulite when I walk now. More than usual. Anyways. No biggie because ziplining is awesome.
Once we got going, it was really fun! Some really long ziplines made me a little scared, but all good. We even saw some monkeys in the trees. Score!
THEN. My friend was all, oh, you can do a zipline superman style! They attach you to the line by your back, and you can fly in the air, a la Superman. I was a little iffy on the idea, so I let her go first. When she was coming down the line, it looked really fun! Then I realized that she was backwards straddling the zipline guy who was behind her. And I'm alllllll, awww heelllll no. I'm not doing that. SHIRLEY there is a better way to do this, yes? I got talked into doing it :(. I was never in a more uncomfortable situation. Not only was I wrapping my legs around some stranger, backwards, IN THE AIR, ON A ZIPLINE, but I was also being completely strangled by this belt thingie and I couldn't breathe. Then everytime I looked up to see the view, it hurt my neck. THEN, since my shirt is all baggy on top, I'm SURE my boobs were flying out as I was flying through the gd trees. It was just so wrong in so many ways. Even worse, I now have Superman by Soulja Boy stuck in my head.
SO, to recap. Ziplining was equal parts fun and awkward. GTs?
Hilarious! Looks like lots of fun. Your posts never cease to crack me up. I'm glad you're having so many GTs.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Your outfit reminds me of a time I got stilettoe'd in Vegas and had to wear my tennies on the plane home with my green cargo shorts... Disaster.
the perma-wedge from ziplining is never a flattering image.
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